Regret

REGRET

I pulled into my driveway. I can see the cars of all our close family parked outside. As I get out of my car, my brother offers me his hand in a handshake of condolences.

I enter my house. My wife and daughters are crying. Everyone is trying to pacify them. I look at my wife and try to be strong, but I can’t stop my tears from flowing. There’s so much grief in my house, so much pain and worry in my heart. It looks almost as if someone is has died or is very sick, although this is not the case. What I’m currently describing to you is any father’s worst nightmare. My daughter has eloped.

Eloping has become so common, children trying to defy their parents. But I never imagined it would happen to me. My eldest daughter has ran away with our neighbour. The Mistrys are a nice Hindu family. We’ve never had problems with them. The only question running through my head is why?

I’m a Muslim man, Muslim by name but hardly in practice. I try to read all my salaah but the shop makes it so hard. I never miss Jummah and attend Fajr on both Eids. Sometimes I tell my daughters to pray. We fast every Ramadaan and celebrate both Eids very lavishly. I take my daughters for Umrah every year. We always stop in Dubai, so they can do some shopping.

I want to make girls independent, I always had them in private schools, they don’t really mix with the Indian girls, only those in the white schools.

I always gave my daughters the best, I only bought them branded clothes. I never told them ‘no’ for anything. They have a shoe to match every outfit and a scarf to match every shoe, although I never really see them wear scarves.

I don’t get a chance to spend time with my girls. We take a holiday twice a year but I always gave them their freedom. I thought my daughters how to drive from young. I even bought her a car before she got license. I remember how happy she was that day. She must be in that car right now, she’s using it to run away from me.

Where was my wife when my daughter was busy with the neighbour? I could have left her at home but, I needed her at the shop. We’ve been busy and I can’t manage otherwise. I do let my wife stay at home sometimes but she needs that time to visit her friends.

I did all this for my children, So that I could show the world my beautiful daughters. I never shouted them because, I fear that they will hate me.

Am I so selfish that due to my own needs I let my children go astray. For my pride and image I never once told them to cover up and dress properly. For my money, I never let their mother to guide them. Through my ignorance, I never prayed and never set an example for my children.

With tears in my eyes, I sit on my mothers old musallas and pray to Allah to bring back my daughter. Only Allah can save my eighteen year old daughter from my forty-five year old Hindu neighbour, father of three children.